Summer of…Three-quels

So this was the first official big movie of the summer season. And it was the first disappointment of the Summer Season.  If you haven’t seen it…oh well I’ll try too keep the spoilers to a minimum, but alas….there is only so much I can’t say with out not being able to actually review it.

The Movie:

The Movie begins in this first state of matter: Peter Parker is Happy…Mary Jane is Happy…Harry Osborn is unhappy…Eddie Brock is a Douche…Flint Marko…well I am not sure why anyone cares about him.

Half way Through…Peter is Emo…Mary Jane is unhappy…Harry is Corky for “Life goes On”…Eddie Brock is still a douche…and Flint Marko killed Ben Parker…because the writers had to give a really good reason for Peter to fight a bad guy?  I thought he was Spider-Man…

At the End of the Film…Peter is Happy…Mary Jane is Happy….Harry is Dead…Eddie Brock/Venom dies like a Douche…and The Sandman is sorry for all the mess he caused but gets a free pass from Spider-Man…Because he gets it now or something…really I don’t know…in fact I am not even sure how Sandman was even defeated because it really didn’t make any sense to me.  At the end the movie is in the state of matter I like to call poo.

What Worked: To be fair not alot…

The actual action scenes were cool…

Peter’s Mid-town Strut made me giggle a lot.

The Sandman effects rocked (especially when he first pulled himself together),

Bruce Campbell has it going on…

The Church Bell tower scene was cool shit…

What didn’t work: I have a Laundry List…but I’ll stick to the most glaring things.

Peter & MJ hanging out as meteor crashes down with a small wet thud…Me thinks it hit some poor bastard jogging, however it answers the age old question “If a Meteor lands in the woods…No one hears it”  even if you no more then 50ft away from it. Oh and I guess Spidey don’t have his “Spider-Sense” anymore.

Goblin Jr.: His Suit is what can only be dubbed as really really bad “Goblin Paint Balling” outfit and the revamped glider looks like a snowboard.

Why was Venom even in the film?  I mean they start a great set up with Eddie and Peter disliking one another.  They could have rolled with it the whole film and have it be great set up for another movie.  Have the suit be the antagonist then Pete gets rid of it and it come back in the Next movie…But no…Lets have Venom and then low and behold lets kill him (Eddie included) with in 20 mins…WTF?!? Why even have him then…

And if Sandman hadn’t been the one who actually killed Uncle Ben I get the idea Peter would have ignored him. I mean it felt like that they had to give Peter a vested personal interest in Sandman…let just ignore the fact that Spider-Man is a superhero who fights bad guys regardless if they did him wrong in the past.

Peter going Emo…The Symbiote was said to increase anger and aggression not make Peter a little girl wearing black.

So what  was Spider-Man 3 was really lacking?  Other then the obvious things it needed, it could have used a good Screenplay…Miller and Gough who wrote Spider-Man 2 should have written this movie…it might have had the heart and soul that Spider-Man 2 had…but alas we got what we got…a steaming pile.

The Verdict: If you liked the series thus far you be let down…It wasn’t worth full priced admission, hell getting it on DVD is gonna take an act of god.


~ by lyoncage on September 16, 2007.

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