Summer of Schlock continues….

Summer-Suckfest 2007 continues…

In this Blog I will review 3 films…Pirates 3, Ocean’s 13, and Die Hard 4

So while I did enjoy 2 of the 3 movies let me preface this by saying I didn’t love them.  They were alright movies, but nothing to make me jump up and cheer for.  So lets get to the Lightning Reviews!

The Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End

What Worked:GEOFFREY RUSH!!! Good lord this man made the movie. While Johnny Deep was His ever lovable self as Capt’n Jack. It was Geoffery Rush’s return as Barbossa that was what made me just chow down the popcorn in total enjoyment. Barbossa takes the Black Pearl into battle against the Flying Dutchman, and the ships circle a deadly maelstrom, all Barbossa can do is laugh manically…oooo…So good. He played an awesome antagonist in the first film, and played an even better Foil in this movie. Also I was happy to see the end of the Will Turner/Elisabeth Swann storyline. I was sick of them by the end of the second movie…but their story did end on a good note as it were (if you didn’t watch through the credits you should)

What Didn’t Work: Honestly, everything with Lord Cutler Beckett played by Tom Hollander.  He was really throw away villain. He had potential but it was never developed beyond the “I must rule the seas” motivation. It was eluded that he and Jack Sparrow had a history…however it was never revealed to us. That plus while I thoroughly enjoyed the look and feel of Davy Jones’ Ship and Crew they didn’t have the resonance of the crew of the Black Pearl in the first outing.

The Verdict: As the end cap to Disney’s Mega-Franchise, it was not a bad outing. But like most franchise pictures it felt a little tired and drawn out by the end. It was however the first movie of the summer that I actually liked.

The Movie: Ocean’s 13

What Worked:Ummm well if you saw the first Clooney endeavor many of the same elements that worked in it worked here. The Clooney/Pitt character interaction was fun and witty yet again, and it made me chuckle a few times.

What Didn’t Work:Well the story is tired and old. Honestly ensemble movies while fun for the most part are old hat now. What we really need is a great new story with new character and not some old clichéd stick. By the end of the movie almost all of the jokes were rehashed from the first two films…At least Julia Roberts didn’t have to play herself again…and at least she also wasn’t in the movie. But to be fair she’s easier on the eyes then the Queen of Botox Ellen Barkin…I didn’t think skin could be stretched over bone like that…I really didn’t.

The Verdict: Well if you liked the first two films I can say you’ll most likely like the third. I didn’t but hey…you might.  Honestly this movie proves that Hollywood needs an enema…it really does.

The Movie: Live Free of Die Hard (or Die hard 4.0 everywhere else in the world)

What Worked: Bruce Willis was the only thing that saved this from being complete schlock. Yes he’s old…yes the idea of killing a helicopter with a car is out of the realm of realism…but damn it…BRUCE WILLIS still has what it takes to kick some serious ass. John McClane’s wit and sarcasm is always entertaining to watch…even when dodging a jet fighters attack. Also I enjoy seeing Kevin Smith on film…always!!!

What Didn’t Work:If anyone other then Bruce Willis was the male lead this movie would have been pretty much one of the dumbest films ever made. The whole plot was just absolutely retarded, and pretty much would have made the film complete poo if not for Willis. The first movie gave us Hans Gruber played brilliantly by Alan Rickman and the hardcore tough movies Karl played by the late Alexander Godunov. In this film we had a not so stellar legion of doom. Timothy Oliphant was about as frightening as Michael J Fox was in Back to the Future. His Kung-Fu girl friend was while pleasant on the eyes was equally lame even though she must have had titanium reinforced legs to have survived getting run down by a burly America SUV. Plus the ultra-lame attempt to have yet again a mean super badass German akin to the first, shows that Hollywood is scraping the bottom of the barrel.

The Verdict: Was a over the top popcorn film, and the only saving grace was Bruce Willis being bad ass. However he is more then enough reason to watch and enjoy the movie.

Next movie review is gonna be Resident Evil: Extinction


~ by lyoncage on September 24, 2007.

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